As a young teen, I loved clean white girl music. From Francesca Battistelli to Brittany Nicole to Taylor Swift. I had enough common sense and conviction to understand the importance of making sure the music I listened to was not profane or sexually explicit. I was intentional with my music choices, but within that fell Taylor Swift and her first CD teardrops on my guitar. I remember saving up my money and purchasing three CDs in one summer Taylor Swift’s first CD, a Vanessa Hudgens CD, and a Britt Nicole CD. I would rotate these three CDs in my radio, you know the big box ones that we used to have an early 2000s, or in my CD player. I loved the music. I felt no conviction about the music, but my mother on the other hand did not appreciate that Taylor Swift talked about liking boys. Liking boys was sinful. It was lustful. Vanessa Hudgens, and Britt Nicole even though their music was clean it talked about letting loose, partying, going out late with friends, goofing off. She was worried that was encouraging me to be immature and behave without integrity.
On a random evening when I had showed an attitude towards her, she took the whole case of CDs. This didn’t just include ones that I purchased for myself, but it also included a few CDs that were gifted to me by her and other people. About 10 CD’s. She then destroyed and disposed of all the CDs that were not Christian, and some that were.
Some of you would jump on this and say she was just fixing my attitude. Perhaps some people will say “well it was within her right to control what you listen to at 14”. Well perhaps you’re right. But you have to understand that in that moment there was no lesson being taught. I felt attacked. I felt stolen from. There was no conversation. Just “I’m the adult you’re the child.” I did not understand why I had to lose so much. I didn’t see anything wrong with the music. I had made intentional decisions to not listen to what some of my friends did. So all this did was chip away the little bit of a relationship that I did have with my mother.
Please understand. Yes, Taylor Swift is singing demonic terrible things, but if you don’t handle this properly, you could damage your relationship with your teen daughter and every relationship has a breaking point. When you go in there to talk to her about this music don’t jump in there and destroy something. Don’t jump in there and snatch away the iPod. Don’t jump in there and chew her out. Sit next to her and have a conversation that is healthy and allow her a chance to reply.
Make sure that you’re making this decision for the right reasons. Teach your daughter to have discernment herself. Your relationship should be more important to you than a three minute song on the radio.
