To birth a child is to sacrifice yourself on the alter of hope. Nothing will be easy from here on out. You didn’t birth this baby to enjoy a leisurely always satisfying life. You birthed this baby in hopes that they will bring this world joy, peace, and beauty.
That hope is not enough to pull you out of the funk. The moments where your hormones and the medications have dulled your senses and made you so confused. The moments when you can not sleep rattled with worry or you are summoned to assist a little one to do one or many of a thousand things in the darkness of night. Your mind becomes muddled with fears, regrets, and dare I say it. RAGE. You cry. You weep. You breath. You pray. And if you are not pulled from the gray soon enough you will begin to hear the voices. They will lie to you. They will make you hate you. You must come out. You can not stay there. You must come out.
Crawl out, by placing your baby in a safe place like a playpen, take a sleeping tea and go to sleep. Sleep. Only waking for your baby. No laundry. No dishes. No cooking. Just sleep and baby.
Or walk out. Find someone to watch your baby here and there and go lay in the sun. Absorb those rays of light, turning them into Vitamin D. Taking a moment to breath deeply. Taking a moment to sing releasing your emotions into the air.
Or run out. Find someone to cook you a hot meal, clean your kitchen, and switch out a load of laundry.
Or fly out. Find a holistic doctor or midwife who will prescribe for you supplements that will help your body to detox and heal. But no matter how, you must get out!
There is no shame in these feelings. THEY ARE NOT YOU! You are safe, loved, and good. You will be okay. Get help and get well momma!
